Wednesday, September 21, 2011


A Nice Gal I know recently recently received an email from her ex (the father of her two children) regarding the status of his child support payments.  It struck me as good material for this blog because it brings into focus the dynamic that is this blog's purpose, i.e. the cognitive dissonance between Not-So-Nice People and Nice Gals.  To that end, I have translated this man's email so that the Nice Gal could understand what he is REALLY saying.  I hope that this is instructive.

"I just wanted to acknowledge that I still have not payed [sic] you the remainder of the August child support in the amount of $[].  At this time, I am not able to give you and the girls the September payment in the amount of $[]."

TranslationI have not and will not be meeting my responsibilities as a father.  

"I wanted to let you know that I am well aware of these and that I am working to get a steady job down here in [Big City].   Once I am able to do this I am certain I will be able to pay you and the girls.  Other than other debts I have,  I have no other real expenses and this is my top priority."

TranslationI am working very hard to avoid doing anything that could in any way inure to your benefit, up to and including denying my children the things that they need.  The fact that I proclaim that child support "is my top priority" completely absolves me of any guilt or accountability.

"Also, I haven't put together any plans yet to see the girls in October.  I am really not able to pay for a flight, rental car, etc. and I am becoming reluctant to rely on my mom and dad for this.  I may wind up doing so, but I don't know."  

TranslationMy children are not a priority.  If you want your children to see their father you'll pay for my plane ticket and allow me the use of your car while I am there.  

"I know the ideal times are Columbus day, and then Thanksgiving(?)  Any input you have is appreciated."

TranslationIn addition to working full-time, caring for our children, (alone and without the funds I am legally obliged to provide) taking care of the home and generally holding the world together for three people, I also need you to act as my travel agent.

"Ok, thats [sic] all I can think of for the moment.  I hope all is well with you, Daughter 1 and Daughter 2."

TranslationEven I have run out of justifications for my failure to operate as an adult in this world.  Fuck you.

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