Thursday, April 26, 2012

All The World's A Stage

I give better advice than I live. The good news (for me; not for the Not-So-Nice's) is that I am starting to have insight, and to take my own stellar advice. And my dad's advice, too. He rocks. He's super nice.

So my tribe and I were discussing "personal power" and "giving away power" which is pretty much at the heart of the dynamic between Nice Gal and NSN's. In particular, we were discussing that our real source of power was the ability to react--or not--to a person's hurtful behavior. By choosing not to react, to engage, to allow shenpa to take over, we maintain our seat of power over the peace in our lives. We choose not to be bothered by someone's nasty behavior/words/look/sigh.

Because here's the thing I've observed: it isn't about you.  It didn't matter that you were a Nice Gal being your sweet self...he acted Not-Nice anyway. It was never about your behavior, your worth, your job or your thighs. He is reciting from a script that was written long before you came into the picture, and will continue to re-read it when you are gone. This will happen irrespective of your behavior.

He will idolize you, then demonize you; you will leave, he will beg for you to come back. The reason it doesn't make sense is that it doesn't have anything to do with you: you are a placeholder, a bit player in a full-blown Greek tragedy starring a NSN. Your actions, ass, words, feelings and intelligence are absolutely irrelevant to the outcome of this situation. So don't take it personally, and don't let his words get to you. He is in pain and this is how he reacts to pain.

Let his mother deal with him, if she will.

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